Thursday, April 1, 2010
Simple Jack's Survivor Analysis
I feel your pain in the bathroom, but can we get into a real debate here? The topic is Survivor and we got a duel brewing that could to the Teens what Bird v. Magic was for the 80s. Since Tom, who basically played the role of 80s Dr. J, a little past his prime.. but still someone you never want to see on the other side of a challenge, was voted off in a suicide move by the defunct Zeroes squad, it has come down to Russel v. Boston Rob.I defy anyone to watch this season and tell me this is not the most compelling matchup on TV right now. Ovechkin / Crosby, Lebron / Kobe, no-name final 4, Bizarro Locke vs. Dead Jacob, nothing comes close right now.You've got a maniacal elf with a penchant for deceit and the CT of survivor, who while he makes very Boston kid cringe that he is representing us, just happens to crush challenges like Big Ben crushes chicks, who don't want him.Russel somehow came back from the dead last week, with a performance reminiscent of Willis Reed hobbling out onto the MSG floor to spark his team to a final victory. By tricking Tyson Russel vaulted his alliance back into the game and swung momentum back his way.But don't underestimate B-Rob. The guy has ice water running through his veins. Just like the hick from french lick, his appearance causes people to constantly underestimate the cerebral nature of his game, but its there.All I have to say is I can't wait to see how it all ends. My money is on the man from Boston, but this is going to go down as one for the ages. I already know that Coach is going to play the goat, but in doing so he is going to give someone a pivotal advantage... let's just hope its our man Rob.
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ReplyDeleteIn order to give this blog some legs I've decided to give Simple Jack the look on authoring capabilities. I'd like to give them to others but I'm pretty sure no one else has the time or the desire to write about bathrooms, survivor, ect. Now to the comment below, which I turned into a post because a lot of you (and by a lot I mean the three people that read this thing) probably don't look at the comment section....
ReplyDeleteSimple Jack pretty much hit the nail on the head here. This match-up between Boston Rob and Russel has re-ignited Survivor and every one needs to get on board. I personally think Russel will win this battle with Rob. Russel got pretty lucky last week but now he has enough time to sway the laughing-stock of the game, Coach (he is a girl's soccer coach who cries, calls himself a Dragon Slayer, does yoga, and insists people call him Coach), to the darkside. If he can do this he can potentially take out Rob, who appears to be panicking at this point, calling Russell a Suicide Bomber in the preview for this week's episode. My theory for last week's suspenseful Tribal Council is that Russel knew he was screwed...if he didn't at least try to save Parvati and his minority alliance then he would simply be delaying the inevitable...his immunity idol would be flushed out and he'd be voted out before the merge...so he took a chance and hoped Tyson would screw up (which incredibly he did). What was impressive (especially if this theory is true) was that Russel had the wherewithall to compliment Coach and mention "honor" (a word that goes a long way with a simple mind) when he risked his own neck and gave the idol to Parv. I think this play, albeit a longshot at the time, is ultimately what will allow Russel to get the numbers and take Boston Rob out tonight. He can use Coach's new loyalty to coax one of the other nobodies (Courtney or Jerry) into his alliance. The only problem is that Russel may get screwed by Parv in the merge. She has friends on the other side and I wouldn't be surprised if she back stabs Russel. Regardless of what happens after the merge though, beating Boston Rob is a win for Russell in my book (and I think in his as well). Without the "Russel vs. Rob dynamic" the show isn't worth watching anyway so tonight is must-see tv. Whoever comes out on top emerges as the best in Survivor history...and I'm praying Russell shuts both B-Rob and Simple Jack up with a monumental performance.
Sidenote... Why don't we send Parv to the Middle East and get her to work something out. There hasn't been one person in Survivor history that has been able to resist her charms. Even when people know she is going to backstab them, they can't help themselves from giggling like a 7th grader with a half chubby under his desk.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, why isn't this tactic used more often in business and political negotiations. You don't think Giselle could have got slick Willy to include Brazil in the old NAFTA agreement? One look at him and a few smiles and he would have been putty in her hands.
I mean Michelle (I kinda look like I played in the WNBA) Obama is no slouch.. but if we sent out Marissa Miller or Parv to help negotiate the next nuclear disarmament treaty... I think we might have something here. Fellas lets call in the closer.