Running is a punishment not a sport

Over the last few years, I have constantly found myself in arguments about whether certain activities are sports. Usually this happens when I find myself talking to a swimmer or a runner. I hate to say it, but 95% of these so called "athletes" are unbearable. In order to exact some measure of revenge for having to be exposed to them, I like to let them know that their precious running and swimming, are not real sports. In fact, the only reason that most people end up as a runner or a swimmer or a crew star is that they weren't talented enough to make it in a real sport. Anyway, to support my assertion and alleviate any confusion, I have come up with 3 simple rules to define what is a sport and what is simply an activity that can be pursued competitively. Without further ado:

Rule #1: Sport must require athletic ability not just hand eye coordination
For me to consider something a sport, it must involve at least one of the following components of athleticism: speed, strength, agility, jumping ability, stamina, or a combination of these abilities. If performance is not contingent on some element of athletic ability then we might as well start referring to checkers players as sportsman. We don’t consider checkers a sport, so tell me why Nascar, darts, or billiards are any more deserving?
(Sorry: nascar, darts, billiards, curling, ping-pong, bobsledding, video gaming) (Just made the cut: baseball, golf)

Rule #2: Sport must have an objective scoring system
Although the Olympics may disagree with me, any competition with a subjective scoring system is not a sport. When you start letting judges determine the winner, you have a contest not a sport. This is why basketball is considered a sport, and the Slam Dunk Competition is considered a contest.
(Sorry, Figure skating, snowboarding, ski jumping, cheerleading boxing)
(Just made the cut: wrestling)

Rule #3: You must be able to affect or influence your opponents performance
This is probably the most controversial rule, but if you can’t influence your opponents performance you are engaging in a competition, not a sport. Running is a part of a lot of sports, but it is not a sport in itself. Just like in a chugging contest, you are competing against the clock and can’t do anything to impact how fast your opponent finishes. Defense is a key component of sports and without this you are simply engaging in a competition.
(Sorry: Track and field, swimming, crew, weight lifting)
(Just made the cut: Golf (only skins or match play version)

With these simple rules, the following would be classified as sports:
­ Basketball
­ Baseball
­ Football
­ Soccer
­ Hockey
­ Tennis
­ Wrestling
­ Rugby
­ Volleyball
­ Lacrosse
­ Handball
­ Squash
­ Racquetball
­ Real World/Road Rules The gauntlet

While the following miss the cut classifying as contests or competitions:
­ Boxing ( in current form)
­ Running / track and field
­ Swimming
­ Figure skating
­ Crew
­ Golf
­ Darts
­ NASCAR
­ Bowling
­ Skiing / snowboarding
­ Cheerleading
­ Bobsled / luge
­ Curling
­ Ping pong
­ Video games
­ Weight lifting