George "The Garbage Disposal" Jolicoeur

APRIL 1--Meet George Jolicoeur. The 600-pound Florida man copped yesterday to criminal charges of stealing food from restaurants and convenience stores. The bedridden Jolicoeur was not in a Seminole County courtroom when his lawyer entered a no contest plea on the 38-year-old's behalf to five misdemeanor petty theft counts. The plea deal spared the 5' 11" Jolicoeur--who breathes with the aid of a respirator--a jail term, though he was ordered to pay court costs and restitution. According to investigators, Jolicoeur would con businesses out of food or refunds by claiming that his grub was spoiled, adulterated, or inedible (Jolicoeur's ruse dates back several years and resulted in a prior no contest plea to theft charges)


This may have been one of the best scams of all time. I mean who is going to question a 5'11" 600 pound behemoth when he says some food was no good. The guy clearly knows his food. That would be like questioning Tom Brady about his taste in women or Peyton Manning about how to blame your teammates when you mess up. When your the best at something, and clearly our boy Georgie knows how to put fast food down, there is just no room for people to question you.

You may ask, well didn't they get suspicious when he would eat almost a full pizza and then tell them the cheese was spoiled? But let me remind you... the guy is 600 friggin pounds. His stomach is probably not the most discerning thing and the people at the pizza parlor are probably just happy Gorilla George didn't take off their finger when they brought him over his pie.

Anyway, I just want to give George his due. It's not that often we are in the presence of true professionals. This guy has been pulling off a brilliantly executed scam for years and laughing at all of us chumps who actually pay for our food. As a side note, you know you are in the big leagues when a guy gets out of another jail sentence with the old respirator in the court room gag. That's a real throwback move. Clearly George was paying attention in con school and really worked on refining his fundamentals over the year.