Do you smell what the Hoff is Cooking?

A dispute between a Bend dog owner and a dog waste removal service got more than a little messy this week, when The Bomb Squad went from collecting - to depositing.

Melinda Hofmann, owner of The Bomb Squad dog waste pick-up service, tried to collect a $150 payment from Deborah Dillow on Monday night. When Dillow didn't answer the door, Hofmann went to her truck to write another notice - but she quickly changed her mind.

"I started to go back and write another note, but I just decided to give her poop back," Hofmann said Wednesday.

So then, from the back end of her truck, Hofmann started slinging feces - 30 gallons of it, according to police - onto Dillow's front yard.
Hofmann admitted she wasn't exactly thinking rationally at the time, but that didn't stop her.

"Actually, once I started doing it, I kind of lost all rational thought together and I just got into this mode of emptying bags," she said. "And as I was flinging the poo all over her yard - it felt really good, and I just kept doing it."

Hofmann has been making a living picking up other people's dog poop for about 10 years.

Got to admire Ms. Hoffman here. Not only did she have the patience and determination to run a pooper scooper business for 10 straight years, but she also had the foresight to name her poop removal company the "Bomb Squad." Never has a company name rang more true than last weekend when The Hoff dropped a big ole deuce in the middle of one of her customer's lawns.

She could have named her company the "Poop Troop," "Dirty Work", or "Shit be Gone," but that would not have inspired the same fear in the hearts of her customers as when they hear the old Bomb Squad minivan speeding towards their home. More importantly, if you think any of her other customers are going to try to pay late or cancel their service after they see what happens when you get on the wrong side of the "Bomb Squad," think again. Melinda Hoffman does not mess around. 30 gallons of feces, what happened? Laser Show, Relax. Melinda's advanced poop slinging technique covers ground quicker than a young Ken Griffey... so proceed at your own risk.

On a related note, is it just me or are all Melinda's a little crazy? I only know 3, but one is married to Danny, the worst realworld / roadrules all-star of all time, one is married to Bill Gates, (with that kind of dough she has got to be a little off right), and then we have Melinda "Stink Palm" Hoffman. Check and mate.