Chinese toddler sees Indonesians Cigarette Addiction; Raises him Booze

Reuters - Chinese toddler Ya Wen started downing pints and smoking up to a pack a day after being struck by a speeding van and spending five days in a coma, her parents told the Yangcheng Evening Post. "She likes drinking," her mother, Gao Wen, said. "Three glasses of beer is no problem to her." Gao Wen said her daughter's personality changed dramatically and she started acting like an adult shortly after leaving the hospital. First, she was busted hiding in the toilet smoking her dad's cigs. Then she began stealing them from a store - until the owner let her have them on credit. "The first time I found her smoking was in the toilet," her mother said. "Before that, I often saw cigarette butts in the toilet but thought they were my husband's, until I saw my daughter smoking there." The store owner said he assumed the child was buying the butts for Dear Old Dad, adding that the child would take up to two packs away at a time.

If this doesn't convince you that China is determined to become THE international superpower then I don't know what will. They just refuse to be outdone. You produce ten nuclear weapons? They'll make a hundred. You go to Mars? They aim for Jupiter. You put Shawn Johnson on the balance beem? They get a 45 lb 10 year old up there that makes her look more like Shawn Kemp.

And now we have the latest evidence. Someone in China apparently was checking out STS and found out that Indonesia is grooming a 2 year old Winston Churchill. Clearly this was unnacceptable. So what does China do? Bitch slaps the world with a three year old girl who rips butts and crushes beers. Our only hope is that this girl is like the little leaguer who develops too quickly. You know the kid that was like 5'8", had a budding stach, and some arm pit hair to boot. Dwarfed everyone and would mash homers at will. Chicks were all over him buying him air heads and shit at the snack stand. I always envied that kid. But then people started catching up and that kid never got any better. Well I think that's the world's only hope when it comes to Ya Wen. We just got to pray that she isn't able to continue her rapid development. Because make no mistake about it, a girl that is able to go into a store and buy cigarettes and booze at the age of three projects out a little higher then that kid crapping his pants during a re-run of Spongebob.