Chef from South Park Implicated in Blackmail Scam

JUNE 7--While on a business trip last month to Washington, D.C., a married Michigan man was awoken one morning when an unidentified caller dialed his hotel room. The caller announced that he was in possession of photos showing the businessman "participating in homosexual acts from the evening before," and demanded $25,000 in hush money, or the images would be forwarded to the man's wife and business associates.

Upon flying back to Detroit and conferring with his spouse, the man contacted the FBI about the shakedown plot. While claiming not to recall any "homosexual liaison" in his hotel room, the man told investigators that he "felt woozy and unclear" the morning after the purported encounter. He also reported that his $20,000 Rolex was missing, along with a credit card and $200 in cash.

At the FBI's direction, the Michigan man recorded a series of telephone calls with the extortionist, who e-mailed photos taken in the hotel room. According to the below FBI affidavit, the images showed the businessman (who is referred to as "Victim 1") in "compromising positions with a man." One image, an agent noted, showed "a black male's hand holding Victim 1's driver's license," while in another photo, "Victim 1 is leaning over a sink and the black male's hand is placed on his back."

In short order, FBI agents traced the phone number from which the photos were sent to Shawn Lightfoot, a 46-year-old Virginia man. Lightfoot, a married father of four, is a veteran chef who has worked at several Washington restaurants and now runs a D.C. catering firm (an online bio notes that he has attended a Culinary Institute of America boot camp).

I don't know who put more effort in, Lamar Odom in the first 4 games of the NBA Finals or this guy, whose "I felt a little woozy" defense is fooling about as many people as a Ron Artest head fake. You say you don't remember any homosexual liaison? As Ben Afleck would say, You're suspect. I don't think we need any of the dudes from CSI to figure out that Victim 1, enjoyed his night in our nation's capitol. He was most likely taking it from behind like Kim Kardashian while the chef from South Park sang Chocolate Salty Balls in his ear. The only way I might believe this guy is if Kobe was in D.C. that night. Boom! Roasted!