(July 21) -- Kids these days. Give them the keys to the horse and carriage, and they go wild. Levi Detweiler, a 17-year-old Amish kid from Leon, N.Y., allegedly ran a stop sign in his horse and buggy, leading authorities on a mile-long low-speed chase.
Detweiler took a sharp turn too fast and turned the buggy over, rolling it into a ditch, police said. It took the Cattaraugus County Sheriff's Office a week to investigate the incident, which ended with Levi being charged with underage possession of alcohol, reckless endangerment, over-driving an animal, failure to stop at a stop sign and failure to yield to an emergency vehicle.
First off I would like to apologize for my extended absence, I thought about writing a lot, but in the words of Aldous Snow, “I just went right on living my life.” Now that that is all squared away, on to the Amish Lindsay Lohan. My guess is that Levi was going through the typical teenage rebellion phase and decided to get a little liquored up, hitch up the wagon and take a ride through sin-town aka the real world. Everything was going smooth as home-churned butter for Levi until his best Jeff Gordon impersonation led him to blaze through a stop sign at 5 miles per hour. Now with the authorities on his tail, Levi really only had two options. Stop, and likely get beaten with a hickory stick by his old man, or take another swig of moonshine, whip his horses, and make a break for it. Easy call for an experienced buggy driver. Unfortunately for Levi, he misjudged a rather precarious 30 degree turn and tossed the carriage faster than Britney Spears on a three day coke binge.
The questions I have are about the charges against this kid.
1. how the hell did he escape a DUI? You can get a DUI for being drunk in a parked car if the keys are in it. This kid was whipping a mean 8 miles an hour with a 2 ton death carriage. How did it take a weeklong investigation to say, yep this kid evaded cops and flipped a buggy while hammered, but we're not charging him with a DUI?
2. what the hell is over-driving an animal? Is it like a little league pitch count where the horse can’t exceed 15 miles in a day?
3. Isn’t living in an Amish village worse than jail anyway?
Is it just me or does this kid look like a young Keanu Reeves? Maybe even a Reeves - Chris Klein combo. Someone get this kid a deal starring in a really bad movie... he sounds like he would fit in perfectly with Gibson, Lohan, and the rest of the crowd down in the Wood
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