So I hate to keep coming back to this topic but I spend a lot of time in el bano during work so I've become a little particular about bathrooms and bathroom etiquette...
Now, I've already touched on the number one bathroom issue across America and that's of course the stall pissers. The second biggest nuissance in the bathroom are the "I'm too stupid to notice that the door is closed and someone is in the stall so I'm going to jiggle the handle/push on the door and make them feel uncomfortable" type of people. Now I know some bathrooms are nicer than others (actual doors ect ect), but in the standard bathroom it is pretty obvious if a stall is occupied. I can't speak for the ladies but in a men's room there are a lot of hard-to-miss indicators like a closed door, the hanging feet, or some mix of hard/breathing/grunting/farting/ardor. Yet, I've rarely had an experience during a high volume time in which someone wasn't seemingly trying to barge in a take a dump on me. I realize that the people executing the "handle jiggle/door push" are probably pot committed and in a desperate turtle-head situation but the effort is crucial time wasted - plain and simple. Trust me I've been there. I never crapped my pants but I've been close before. Fortunately I was sensible under pressure. I understood that a stall is made for one and that pulling a SeaBass wasn't going to fly in the workplace so I squeezed my cheeks and speedwalked the shit out of the office hallways to the nearest alternative. And everyone else should do the same because whenever someone pressures me with a handle jiggle I am inclined to stay longer...not because I want the person to crap themselves...but because I don't want a direct follow-up (for the layman - a person who enters the stall immediately after you exit). A follow-up is career suicide, folks. Try climbing the corporate ladder with a nickname like "streaks" or "veggie fart"...it's just not going to happen. So whenever I even hear someone come in the door I always wait to ensure that they either occupy a different stall or go urinal (if the person is a fake pisser then that's their problem). Once I know it's safe I always get to the sink a soon as possible because this essentially frees you of blame. Now I went off on a bit of a tangent there but my main plea is that people stop trying to get into stalls they know are occupied because its making everyone else extremely uncomfortable in a place that should be free of the angst that plagues the rest of the office.
p.s. I obviously love coming back to this topic and there is more where this came from if people are digging the bathroom commentary
